Gone are the days...

Lately I've been noticing a lot of aspects about my life that have changed 180 degrees and will be that way for quite some time. These things first changed when I got pregnant, then once I had Brooklyn and now they've changed even more drastically since she has become mobile. Tis the title. So here goes....

Gone are the days...

...when I just came home from work and did "my own thing"
...when I actually did what I planned to do each evening.
...when going to the bathroom was not a time I worried if Brooklyn was going to fall and hurt herself in that short time I was away from her (note - I do not leave her in places where it would be easy for that to happen, but I still worry that she might do something I never thought of and hurt herself)
...when I could put Brooklyn in her bouncer or lay her down and she would lay quietly for extended periods of time.
...when laundry for TWO people seemed like a lot.
...when sitting and watching a show didn't require 10 pausing episodes to either let Brooklyn get her yelling fit out or for me to run into the room and make sure she was still sleeping/not suffocating in a blanket/hasn't fallen off the bed...etc.
...when I wore a size 8 1/2 shoe (this was the pregnancy)
...there weren't countless toys strewn about the house.
...when I actually felt the desire to make myself look presentable before going out (not that it was that strong of a desire before, but it was still stronger than it is now!)
...when 10 minutes of complete silence wasn't a mini get-away in my head.

...when I didn't have a loud, screaming child to feel self-conscious about in restaurants.

Now my days are filled with making sure my daughter isn't getting into anything she's not supposed to be, which she usually is. Making sure she isn't falling and hurting herself. Making sure she has taken her bottle and has a clean diaper on (I forget diapers frequently, I don't know why). Looking at the clock to make sure we aren't WAY past her bedtime. Keeping up with who's laundry needs to be done the most and then making sure it gets done. (It never happens that way).

While my life isn't at all what it used to be, I love it nonetheless. I love the excitement and joy

Brooklyn brings to our lives and I can't imagine life without her. She changes every day and

learns something new or surprises us with some new little thing she has started to do or funny face she is starting to make. It's amazing how these little babies grow and learn SO FAST! I remember thinking how it seem like it would be such a long time from then that she would be doing these things like crawling and cutting teeth - but 8 months goes by fast! And here she is, crawling, 4 teeth, clapping, pulling up on everything and trying to walk...the list just goes on and on.

My first born is only 4 months from being a year old. I get panicky thinking about that sometimes. I will never get to hold her as a 3 month old. Everyday that passes I can never experience again and will never be like any other day to come. She will be changing every day and there's no stopping it. It's so sad to me! I don't want her to grow up anymore! She can just stay at 8 months for a few more months then she can move on to 9....if only it worked that way...

sigh...

So there you have it. I'm sure all of you young moms and first-time moms like myself, are experiencing all the same things. There is nothing new under the sun. I know. It just feels so new to me.


C'est la vie...


On the bright side: I'm looking forward to having the warm weather back. This means more walks outside with Brook and no more jackets and cold weather. It also means the school year is near the end. It also means our family reunion is coming up. We have a Ross reunion in June and then a Woolbright reunion in August.

I've applied for a teaching position at Covenant Christian Academy. There are two positions I am interested in. One is teaching Spanish to pre-k through 3rd grade and the other is teaching music for the same age group. I hope to hear from them for an interview soon. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to teach at a private, Christian school! It would be my dream! Of course it would mean a HUGE pay cut, but Waylon is about to be done with day classes so he could get a full-time job to make up the difference in pay. Right now he only works part-time as a sub for my school district and Arlington school district. It brings in about $250 a month. I have no doubt that if it's the Lord's will that I get that job, that He will provide a job for Waylon paying what we need to make due. We just need to be making at least what I make right now at my school. We can live off that. So I would appreciate it if all you readers of mine would keep me in your prayers and pray that God will put in my heart what He wants for me and that whichever direction this goes, I will be at peace with it. Right now I REALLY want the job and would be very disappointed if I didn't at least get a call for an interview. But I keep telling myself that if this isn't the direction God wants for me, then I need to prepare my heart and mind for that and not put all my hopes and emotions into this right now when I haven't even been asked for an interview! It's so hard though!!

By the time I write my next post, I might have some sort of update on that situation. My hope is that I will. We shall see!

A month of news

Yikes! It's been a very long time since I last blogged! I'm sure you have all been sitting on the edge of your seats, waiting for the next one. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. In all seriousness, to be quite honest, I have had blog-block lately. I haven't wanted to blog much and I haven't had just a whole lot to blog about on any given day. Now that it's been over a month though, I have plenty to blog about so get ready to take in lots of information!

First things first: Brooklyn.

Brooklyn has been learning new things daily and growing like a little weed. The first thing I should mention is the cutting of her first two teeth. That happened about a week after I posted my last blog. She had her first tooth break through on a Saturday morning and then her 2nd one came through a couple days later. I was so excited! She got very tired of me putting my fingers in her mouth to feel for teeth! Since then, she has already cut her 3rd tooth which happened last week. It's her top, left one. We expect the right one to come soon since her bottom two came in together. She now will grind her teeth together - which makes me CRINGE! But she seems to like it so I don't stop her.

She has also begun pulling up on EVERYTHING. She loves to stand and practice walking. She "cruises" already around things like the coffee table and her crib and pack n' play. She really wants to walk, you can tell. She hasn't shown much interest in crawling. She'll get on all fours and then give up after a few seconds and then lay on her belly and fuss until you pick her up. I think she will walk before she crawls for sure. She just seems totally uninterested in crawling.

Brooklyn has developed quite a personality as well in the past month. She gets very excited over new things and will clap and wave her arms around. She can also go to the complete opposite extreme and put her serious face on and just stare at whatever she is focusing on. It's quite entertaining to watch her go to these two extremes. She just keeps us laughing and on our toes. I can't imagine life without her!

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I'm now at 10 weeks left of school before we are done for this school year. This year has really gone by fast! Now that spring break is over, we won't have any more days off or long weekends until the last weekend of May. This is where the year gets a little discouraging because it feels like forever since there are no breaks. I have to admit that I'm not very happy with my job right now. I get frustrated at how much disciplining I have to do and how rude and disrespectful kids are getting these days. It's unbelievable how entitled they feel to do whatever they want. And the worse part is that the parents feel that they "can't do anything about it"!! It's the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. So the parents' lack of discipline makes my job much more difficult. I look forward to the summer and to the day that I either don't have to work at all or that I can switch to a private school. And that's all the complaining I'm going to do.

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We just got back yesterday from our spring break ski trip to Pagosa Springs, Colorado. We went with Waylon's cousin, Rebecca, and her husband Paul, Gabe (Paul's brother), Taylor (Gabe's roommate) and my friend Emily. We had a great time! We drove up there on Monday and came back Friday. We made great time on both driving days, arriving at our destinations before the sun even went down! That made me very happy. The skiing was really fun. I'll admit that I've never been a good skiier. I can stop and I can even go fast, but I've never been good at controlling my speed or turning. On this trip, it was my goal to fix those two problems. So I went slow and worked on turning without doing the "pizza" (also known as the "snow plow"). The first day we skiied was Tuesday and it was a short day on the slopes. First off, Waylon wanted to try snowboarding so that we would be on the same level - which worked really well for that aspect. But he didn't enjoy snowboarding. It is quite a bit different and more difficult than skiing, which he is very good at, and requires a lot of falling when you are first learning. He actually had a bruise from all the falls he took on his rear! He got quite frustrated with snowboarding. Meanwhile, I was re-learning how to ski, since the last time I went was in December of 2006. My first run I only fell once and I wasn't even moving - I just got tangled in Rebecca's skiis. But I went very slow and snow-plowed most of my way down the mountain. Little 3 & 4 year old kids were skiing faster than I was and they didn't have poles! One thing I discovered after that first day is that snow-plowing actually requires a lot more energy and puts a lot more stress on your legs since you are applying pressure the ENTIRE time! My legs were starting to shake when I reached the bottom on my first run! I had to take a little break before going back up! I can't imagine how bad it would have been if I hadn't been doing boot camp at work. Sheesh. We ended up only doing 3 runs that day before quitting and going home. We were all exhausted. Emily was also ready to go. She was taking it easy as well since she broke her arm snowboarding once and didn't want to push herself too hard. I totally understand that! I've never broken anything skiing and I have no desire to push myself into getting really good! lol

The second day was much better. I had gained quite a bit of confidence in my turning ability from the first day and was able to pick up the speed a bit. I definitely hit some "high speed" times where my heart got to racing a bit because I was wondering if I was going to wipe out. But I didn't! I even tried a different green slope that was a bit steeper than the other one and ended up liking it better. There was only a couple of upsets that day. One of them was when Waylon convinced me to try a blue-green slope. It started blue, but was only blue for a very short time and then turned green for the rest, and majority, of the way. He convinced me that I could handle the short amount of blue. He had not been on this slope though and didn't know what was on the horizon. The first little bit was fine; I went down much faster than I had been, but I was still in control and the slopes had some areas that flattened out enough for me to slow down a bit. Then we hit the slope of death. At least that's what it looked like to me. It was MUCH steeper than any hill I had been on, which wouldn't have been a problem if it had been a SHORT steep hill. But it wasn't short. I looked like it went on forever. I knew I would lose control and wipe out if I attempted going down this hill. There was no way my legs were strong enough to keep up the constant turning I would have to do in order to make it down in one piece. I was petrified and furious all at the same time. In one of my not-so-fine moments, I began yelling at Waylon. There may or may not have been a couple of cuss words thrown out at that moment. My memory is fuzzy so I can't really say one way or the other...ahem. I did tell him in no uncertain terms that I was enraged at him in a very loud, angry yell. Again, I'm not proud of how I acted during that moment on the hill. I then began to try to walk down the hill on my skis, sideways. That proved to be exhausting and more frustrating. So I ended up taking my skis off and sliding down the hill on my butt - which I ended up sliding down WAY faster than I thought I would and even that scared me a bit! When I got down to the flat area, I rested for a bit and Waylon and I exchanged a few more words and then I slid down the next small hill as it too was too steep and a bit to long and I was just too angry to even try it. The rest of the trail was fine and I made it in one piece. That day we probably did about 6 or 7 runs and then went home. I've never felt so physically exhausted in my life. Skiing is a lot of work and good skiers make it look SO easy...which is ISN'T.

We decided on Thursday not to go skiing as we were both super tired and Waylon was very badly burnt on the face. Emily was also feel sick and wasn't going to ski either. So we headed into town for some gift shopping and site seeing. I really enjoyed that day and I'm glad we chose to do that.

Our drive back home Friday would have been pretty perfect (besides Emily still not feeling well, which sucks when you have to ride in a car for 13 hours) until Waylon got a speeding ticket near Amarillo and found out his license was suspended (reason unknown as of yet). Awesome! So I ended up driving for most of the trip, which wasn't so awesome. And now we have an almost $200 ticket to pay for and who knows what else to get his license un-suspended.

The hardest part of that whole trip though was, by far, being away from Brooklyn for 5 days. I still can't believe I left her for that long already. She did great for my parents though, which I knew she would because she already knows that she gets whatever she wants over there. We got to skype with her and my mom on Wednesday which helped me with the emotions I was feeling. I couldn't wait to hold her and see her Friday. I've been enjoying her all day today!

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One of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while is because I've been a bit emotional about a story I was following. Many of you already were following the story of 2 year old Layla Grace and her fight against cancer, which she lost on March 9th. I'm the kind of person that if I'm really sad or depressed, I can't really think of anything else and I just couldn't get on here and type up happy, fuzzy posts when my heart was breaking for Layla and her family. I've never been so affected by the story of someone I don't know as I was about little Layla. I guess now that I'm a mom, stories about little kids dying of cancer are just going to affect me more strongly than they did before. But I don't think it was just that. I think it also had to do with the fact that they live here in Texas, just a few hours South of me and that Layla looked a lot like Brooklyn before she got sick. She was a chubby, healthy baby with no signs of cancer. It literally changed her in a matter of a few days and she would never be the same again. This story just made me realize how fragile life is and how things can change so swiftly from one moment to the next. In the back of my mind I kept thinking "That could be us in a few months." While it upset me and depressed me and I cried many times over it and prayed even more for a miraculous healing for little Layla, it also made me appreciate my time with Brooklyn so much more. It made me savor all the little moments with her that I hadn't really thought to savor before. All the times I just sit with her in my lap and watch TV or try to read or do something else - I enjoyed those times and watched her more closely and thanked God for her over and over again. I do not want to have any regrets when I look back on Brooklyn's infant and toddler years. One of Layla's mom's posts was about regrets. She remembers days when she wished for silence because Layla was so active and kept things busy around the house. Once she was sick, she wished Layla had the energy to do all those things again and she would do anything to be able to go back and enjoy those moments and take advantage of the time she had with her before she was gone. Layla's life was short but it impacted literally millions of people. She was a beautiful baby girl and now she is in heaven, cancer free and pain free, getting to spend time with Jesus.

Reading her story and seeing how emotionally involved I became and how it literally crippled me emotionally, I came to the realization that I do not have the fortitude to follow stories like this all the time. I feel for families that have to go through this and I know that God has some sort of divine plan for what happens in these tragic situations, but I can't carry around the sadness for every family with a sick child or I will miss out on the life of my own. I will still pray for the families of these hurting babes and pray for miracles and the knowledge that there are more sick kids out there is still in the back of my mind, reminding me to appreciate and savor my own child and future children, but I can't keep reading about these tragic stories. At least not now. I hope this doesn't come across as being selfish or apathetic towards these sad stories, because it's really not that at all. I just take it all too personally and I have to learn to distance myself from it and say prayers for them and then put them in the Lord's hands and continue to live my life.

I know this may seem crazy that I let myself get drawn into this story so deeply, but I did. I have learned a lot from it and I know God had a purpose in my reading about little Layla and He showed me some areas I need to work on in my spiritual life. Things like trusting him and not worrying about the future. I've never considered myself a worrier. Having a child has completely changed that aspect about me. I have a whole new perspective on things now. A perspective that hurts when it sees a young child dying of cancer or hears of a father dying in Afghanistan and leaving behind a young wife and new born baby girl that will never know her daddy. It's different when you're a parent. You finally understand the love a parent has for their child and you can begin to imagine how God felt watching His son die on the cross for us. We will never know the full extent of God's feelings during that time but being a parent puts that kind of pain in a new perspective for sure.

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I knew this post would be long but I honestly didn't plan for it to be this long. I had more to write about but I will save it for another post. It is more suited for it's own post anyway!

If you've made it this far, then you truly are a dedicated reader of mine. And I appreciate it! Hopefully it won't be another month before my next post!

First week of dieting

Since my last blog post, I've begun a diet. Well, it's not just a diet but a change in eating habits. At least that's the goal. I've started doing The Flat Belly Diet with two co-workers. You can buy the book at Walmart but I got mine at Half-Priced Books for...well, half price. The diet is basically getting you to eat 4 meals a day and 400 calories per meal. The name comes from the fact that they incorporate MUFAS (monounsaturated fatty-acids) which are the good fats (who knew?) and they are supposed to help with getting rid of belly fat specifically. I know it sounds bogus, but, I've read quite a bit on it and it seems like a good diet. These MUFAS are foods like avocado, nuts, olive oil and flaxseed oil, olives (green & black) and dark chocolate. Yes, I get to incorporate dark chocolate into my diet. This makes me very happy.

The first four days of the diet are called The 4-Day Anti-bloat Jumpstart. You only get 1200 calories a day and you eat 4 times a day. You get breakfast, lunch, a snack and dinner and you are supposed to never go more than 4 hours apart between meals (until bedtime of course!). The food selection for the 4-day jumpstart is pretty lean. I ate cornflakes with skim milk every morning (which ended up not being so bad), plus a fruit of some sort (applesauce, pineapple tidbits, raisins - those were the ones the diet had me eat), 1/4 cup un-salted sunflower seeds and a glass of their sassy water (named after it's creator. It has sliced cucumbers, lemons, mint leaves and fresh ground ginger root). I'll be honest, I wasn't wild about the water. Mainly because it has two ingredients I don't like: ginger and lemon. Ick. I think the main purpose behind the flavored water is to spice things up since the four days have a pretty bland diet but I'm used to drinking plain water so after the second day, I just saved the veggies and drank my plain water. Lunch consisted of 3 days of rolled up deli-style turkey (sans bread), a pint of cherry tomatoes or a cup of steamed carrots and one low fat string cheese. The lunches weren't bad. I would take a bite of turkey, then a tomato (I love those cherry tomatoes) and go back and forth like that till it was gone. I discovered that I enjoy eating turkey this way. It's quite tasty. I always saved my string cheese for the end. I LOVE cheese and string cheese is fun to eat and delish. The afternoon snack was always a fruit smoothie. Those consist of 1 cup skim milk with 1 cup frozen fruit (blueberries, pineapples, strawberries and peaches). Those were quite tasty even with no added sugar and were a nice treat in the afternoons during my conference period. Then I wouldn't eat again till dinner. Dinners consisted of either baked Tilapia or chicken with brown rice and a different veggie each night (two nights were roasted red potatoes drizzled with olive oil, one night was sauteed mushrooms - which were yummy - and then sauteed yellow squash). Since you're not allowed to eat salt during this time, I used salt-free Mrs. Dash original blend. It wasn't quite the same as salting my food but it definitely helped! All in all, I enjoyed the food and never felt deprived and I definitely felt UN-bloated. I was satisfied after every meal but never had that "over-stuffed" feeling that I usually have after eating a much larger portion than I need. I thought that not eating after dinner was going to be super hard since this is the time I want to eat the most - in the evenings after dinner. But surprise, surprise, it wasn't as hard as I thought. An added bonus was being able to pat myself on the back for exerting self-control and not eating 3 bowls of cereal at 10pm. I felt accomplished each night, like I had done something good. Which is rewarding in, and of itself.

The next step of the diet is to begin the 28 days that follow the 4 day jumpstart. I will now get bumped up to eating 1600 calories a day and still 4 meals, 4 hours apart. If I did well on 1200 calories, I think I'll do just fine on 1600. The book comes with more recipes than I will ever use. It has an "on-the-go" chapter with all quick, easy 400 calorie meals for busy women and then a chapter with 28 recipes for the woman who enjoys cooking a full meal. It also has a chapter for once you have finished the 28 days and you are ready to continue this healthy eating style. I like that the book isn't just a fad diet that you can't do long term. It is a guide to eating healthier, tasty food and changing how you eat and eating smaller portions. There's even a chapter on emotional eating and how to break that vice and one with a workout plan as well. They advertise on the cover that you can lose weight and maintain it without doing one crunch but they do encourage working out and have a workout plan for you that you can build up to.

So far, there hasn't been anything about this diet that I haven't liked. Me and the two girls at work who are starting it together are very excited about it are looking forward to encouraging each other and cheering each other on towards our weight loss goals.

My goals:

- lose a total of 20 pounds by June

- get to my ideal weight and maintain it by the end of 2010. (this ideal weight is going to be very difficult for me to achieve which is why I'm bumping it to the end of the year.) If I am able to achieve this goal, I will have lost a total of 40 pounds.

- find a workout plan that I can stick to and be consistent with. (right now I'm doing boot camp through my school which is great but I need something more long-term for when we get out for the summer that I can continue. I think the workout that the book suggests would be very doable for me)

- Make eating healthier and in smaller portions and exercising a part of my life to the point where it isn't a huge effort anymore.

So there you have it. I know it was very detailed and you probably nodded off a few times but I'm writing this more for my personal edification. I wanted to pen to paper...or finger to keys, and write down my goals so I can look back. I'll probably post my "before" picture on here so that I can post my progress pictures and you can compare and see how I'm doing. I'll also be posting some of the recipes I discover that are super yummy as I go along so that if you are interested in eating healthier, maybe you can get some ideas from what I'm eating.

Here's a breakfast sandwich that's delicious and pretty easy and quick for 400 calories:

1 toasted whole wheat English muffin,

1 scrambled egg

1 slice low fat cheddar

1/4 cup mashed Avocado (Hass)

Sliced tomato (I usually put two slices if it's the smaller ones)

Put it all together and it's very good. But you have to like Avocados, which, incidentally, I LOVE.

Happy, healthy eating to all!

A little bit of this and that

I figure it's time for an update before I forget what to be updating you all on! Here are some things that we've been up to here at the Perryman household in the past few days:

- The house has definitely gotten messier. There's no doubt about it! As I sit here on my couch watching Brooklyn try to take the snack tray out of her exersaucer, I can see 4 cups, a plate a bowl and a spoon all within arms length that should be in the dish washer...but aren't.

- I'm anxious to file our tax return so I can get the money back to pay my dad back for what we borrowed to buy the van. We're also taking a ski trip with Waylon's cousin Rebecca and her husband, my brother and my cousin and possibly more people. Rebecca knows someone who is letting us stay in their lodge in Colorado for super cheap. We will be going for Spring Break and be gone the entire week! I'm excited but at the same time I know it will be hard to be away from Brooklyn all week. That will be the longest I go without seeing her...by 4 days!

- Waylon's dad, Donny, has taken a turn for the worse and is back in the hospital. I haven't blogged a lot about this because it has been a painful struggle for Waylon and his mom. Donny has been sick for quite some time but lately his health is getting worse and very quickly. It is very sad and very difficult. He will be getting out tomorrow but spent 3 days in ICU. His health has been very unstable. He needs all our prayers.

- I've lost 1 pound since starting boot camp. This was our third week of it. I can tell a huge difference when I'm working out now. I can actually talk while working out whereas before it took every ounce of my focus and energy to be able to do the exercise at hand. I'm still a little disappointed with the only 1 pound part. I've really been frustrated with my wardrobe situation. I have a lot of clothes that I can't wear and no money to buy new ones. It's very irritating and I dread every morning getting up for work b/c I have no idea what I'm going to wear that day. Thankfully, my mom is going to buy me some pants that are on sale at New York & Co. tomorrow and I'll pay her back when I get my tax return. It's an amazing deal on my FAVORITE pants (elastic waist!) and I'm getting 4 pair for $60! This should eleviate some of the wardrobe issues I've been having.

- Brooklyn continues to do new things everyday. She currently says "da-da" and I think she actually does associate it with Waylon. She says it more when she's around him at least. She's also gotten a lot more separation anxiety. She sleeps with us EVERY night. She freaks out in her crib and I just don't have the patience to do any sleep training right now while working. She has started to make small steps towards learning to crawl. She will lunge forward while sitting on the floor to try to get her toys and sometimes put one leg behind her like she is going to go forward. That's as far as she gets but it's a step!

- I've completed my first month of reading my Bible (almost) everyday. I've gotten behind by a couple days (ahem...3 or 4) but either caught up or marked the days I missed so I can make up those days later. I'm really trying to always read the day I should be on, even if I missed the day before. I can always come back and get that day if I mark the day with my little sticky tabs. It seems to be working for now. This is the longest I've stuck to reading my Bible daily (sad, I know, since I'm a PK and MK). I think what has done it for me is having a One Year Bible AND not putting the pressure on myself to catch up on missed days every time I miss one. By just moving forward and marking the days I missed, I can keep moving forward which feels good. I've already gone back and caught up on several days that were missed. I feel good about this. I'm hoping it gets to where I can do this everyday, without even thinking about it. My other goal here is to get up every morning (eventually...baby steps) by 6am to read my Bible and have time to really get ready for my day by praying and reading the Word. I think if I did this everyday, I would really feel a difference in my days and how I felt and reacted at work. The problem is getting my sleepy, lazy butt out of bed...especially when it's so cold in the mornings!

- We are on our 3rd week of driving our mini van and still loving it! We still try to drive the PT Cruiser the most over the weekends b/c it gets better gas mileage and there is a little thing that needs to get fixed on the van that effects it's gas mileage. But I drive the van everyday to work and it feels so good having all that space!

- We have survived so far on just my pay check this month! God is really making our money stretch! Since Waylon quit the airport right at Christmas break, we have gotten two small paychecks from the airport and NO checks from subbing because he missed the cut off date to get a January paycheck. So money has definitely been tight around here all things considered but we have really cut out eating out and just haven't spent money on anything that isn't a necessity. It's amazing how much money you can save by eating at home and not spending money on "stuff". My parents have also been extremely gracious and taken us out to eat several times. We have a new favorite burger place called OC Burger that has a special where you get 4 meals which inclue a big burger, drink and fries for $16. Their burgers are AWESOME as are their fries. My parents take us there to eat almost every week and we really appreciate it. I am looking forward to the day where we are financially able to take THEM out instead and pay for them. It will feel good to give back. That's for sure.

I want to end by posting some pictures of Brooklyn we took recently of her taking a bath in her pink tub. Don't worry, none of her "naughty" parts are showing! I made sure of it this time! By the way, I forgot to add that she will be 7 MONTHS a week from tomorrow!! AHH!!!! I can't believe my baby girl is already turning 7 months!!

She loves the little duck wash cloth that Grandma Ross got her

She has such a big, sweet smile. Look at those dimples!

Showing off how she can sit up and playing with her talking rabbit she got for Christmas from her cousin Macy. She loves that rabbit!

Already talking on the phone!

And this one, well, I just love that look of hers. I could look at this face ALL DAY.

Seriously.

So there you have it! A quick update on the Perryman life!

The boundary lines

I'm not going to lie: lately I have been focusing a lot on negative things. As each day passes, I find something negative to dwell on and stress out about. Surely, in the busy life I lead, there are plenty of things to stress about and be negative about. BUT that doesn't mean I have to focus on them, nor does it mean there aren't any positive things going on either. We have had some quite wonderful things happen to us lately - yet I still find a way to dwell on the negative. As I was reading today's reading in my Everyday Bible, (one of my goals is to read through the Bible this year. I've done well and only skipped a few days, which is really good for me!) the Psalm of the day really brought this point home. The two verses are from Psalm 16: 5-6 which say:

Lord, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

These two verses just hit me right between the eyes today and I had an "aha!" moment sitting here in my recliner, drinking my coffee with my cozy blanket covering me and keeping me warm. I hadn't given much thought to the fact that the Lord has been our portion over and over again these past few months. Every time I thought we were going to go under, He took us in his hands and carried us through. What could have been a major disaster turned into a little hiccup. The best part of this verse is seeing that HE holds our future. Duh! Something I already know but forget on a daily basis! I worry so much about the future and about the unknowns and I try to plan, plan, plan so that every angle is covered. It's exhausting and totally unnecessary! This is not to say that a little wise planning ahead isn't a good idea, but we can get really carried away with it and start stressing out over something we cannot control today! God holds my future so I don't have to keep worrying about it.

I like how it says that the boundaries lines have fallen in "pleasant places". That just sounds so sing-songy and happy. But it is true. God has already placed the boundary lines around us and given us our inheritance which is eternal life in Heaven with Him when we believe in His Son who died for us. What a wonderful and truly beautiful inheritance!

It's just like God to bring a verse along in your everyday reading of the Bible to whack you against the head and make you realize how good you have it and how much He loves you. It makes me wonder what kind of blessing I missed out on the days I skipped...

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Now for an update on those wonderful blessings God has been doing for us!

This past weekend we purchased a 1999 Honda Odyssey (mini van)! I absolutely love it! Even better is the fact that we were able to pay it in full and walk out without a single payment. Well, except for the "small" amount of money we borrowed from my dad to make the full purchase possible and that we will be repaying as soon as we get our income tax return money in. :) I have to say that this van was definitely a God thing. Ever since I drove my sister's Odyssey when I visited them in MA 3 years ago, I decided I wanted one once I was married and had kids. Fast-forward to us having to sell my Honda Fit when we moved into the house (so we could afford the $300 increase in rent) and Waylon started driving my dad's pick-up truck until we were able to get another car. The pick-up had no A/C or heat, or radio (it was stolen TWICE when my brother drove the truck). It also has to have 3/4 of a tank of gas in it at all times or you risk blowing the fuel pump which costs $400 to replace. Needless to say, we were very grateful to have a 2nd vehicle BUT it's dependability had much to be desired. Add on top of that the fact that when we started using it, it was mid-June in Texas with 95+ degree weather. Poor Waylon drove that thing all over the metroplex with no A/C in the hottest Texas weather of the year. He was a real trooper! So to say that I didn't have a very strong feeling that this van was "it" for us when I found it on autotrader.com is an understatement. We bought it for about $2000 LESS than every other Odyssey I could find that was around the same year with MORE mileage on it than ours. Granted, it doesn't have all the fancy bells and whistles. It's version with power locks but not the automatic doors on the sides (I was just a teeny bit bummed about that, but I got over it in half a second!). It was very well taken care of on the inside and the outside is almost impeccable! It also has brand new tires on it and a 6 disc CD changer. Our hope now, is that the PT Cruiser and the van will last us for several years as we grow our family. The cruiser is only 3 years old so it should last for quite some time and the van is a Honda, and we all know that Hondas last forever. Which is why I love them!

So that's one of the blessings lately...

Some others are: I finally changed my W4 to married and having 1 child which increased my paychecks by $210!! I'll get the first check with that increase next month and I'm looking forward to it!

Our rent is going down by $100. Yess!!

Our insurance is going down by $20 a month. (at least until the accident I was in makes it on there and then I don't know what will happen...)

On that note...I was in an accident last week on Wednesday. I was driving home in bumper to bumper traffic and was looking down and not paying attention when I rear-ended the car in front of me. Thankfully no one was injured. My car basically tore off the bumper on the other car (which was plastic and foam!) but did some big time damage to the front of my car...well over our deductible. So...our PT Cruiser is getting all fixed up this week and I was told today by the repair shop that it should be ready by Friday. In the meantime our insurance covers rentals so we were given another black PT Cruiser to drive. I forget that we're in a rental since it's basically the exact car we have. Moral to the story: keep your eyes on the road at all times!

Brooklyn is still struggling with sleep at night but we have discovered that she does like to sleep on her belly now. So we put her on her belly a lot when it's bed time. She has been sleeping with us lately due to her constant waking up and crying for long periods of time during the night. I'm afraid it's starting a really bad habit and that it will be hard to break but right now I just need to do what gets me the most sleep at night. Which is letting her sleep with us. And I still don't get great sleep because she moves a lot and takes up a lot more space than before. She also rolls over in her sleep which makes things a bit more tricky.

We still haven't mastered keeping the house clean OR organized but we won't give up or quit. I'm determined to find a way to keep things semi-clean and organized. There's got to be a way!

There are some interesting prospects for my future in teaching and also another path I'm considering pursuing which would involve going back to school. There is also yet ANOTHER possibility that would involve my love of the piano. I'm not ready to blog about all of that yet because everything is very tentative and I don't even know how I really feel about half of it. I may decide to go in a completely different direction next week so I'll wait till I've put more prayer time into it and feel some sort of leading. Either way, nothing would be an immediate change...they are all quite a ways down the road for me. Still exciting though since I like change.

There is a baby crying in my house...I wonder who it could be?? Someone isn't sleeping very deeply tonight...

The "fever" has passed

I was warned by my sister, among many other people, that I would miss being pregnant after having Brooklyn, which I didn't believe. I was also told I would probably look back at the whole birthing experience with nostalgia and even get baby fever all over again and want another baby shortly after this one, which I also didn't believe. Well, I did feel all of those things. At about 1 month post partum I began having fantasies of getting pregnant again when Brooklyn was only 3 months old and just not going back on the pill and having all my kids back to back. I also missed my big belly even though I was completely MISERABLE at the end. (gasp!) These feelings stuck around for quite a while. Every month I would secretly be hopeful that I would be late and take a pregnancy only to discover I was pregnant again! I actually did have a real scare one month where I took a pregnancy test but it was negative. I was having these little bouts of nausea and it was really freaking me out. Now, to be really honest, I was very hopeful that I was pregnant but at the same time I was thinking "How the heck will we get by with two kids on one main income?" and "How would I even be able to go through another school year while being pregnant AND caring for an infant??" These were all cautions in the back of my mind that never allowed me to fully enjoy my fantasy of having back to back babies.

Today I'm here to say that the baby fever has passed and none of those things are one bit appealing to me at this point in time. I'm very grateful that I have not gotten pregnant up until now (please God, keep me on this roll!) despite missing a day here and there of my pill (not on purpose, I promise! I'm just really bad at remembering to take anything daily...including my pre natal vitamin while I was pregnant). Even though my mind knows that God is in control, sometimes my heart doesn't remember that and my emotions get the best of me. God knows we cannot handle another baby right now and I'm thankful he has taken this desire away for the time being. The thought of being pregnant right now while having a very active, clingy, needy, energetic, lovable 6 month old at home is just exhausting! Put on top of that TEACHING and the stresses of dealing with 130 snarky teenagers every day and that's a recipe for disaster! Yes, I'm thankful to not have this strong desire in my heart that my mind kept telling me was cause to be institutionalized!

Do I still want more kids? YES!! I still want 3 more kids - at this point. We'll see as Brooklyn gets older. Do I really think having another one right now would be something we should purposely attempt? Absolutely not! If I get pregnant while on the pill, I will know that it really is something God wanted for us and knows we can handle. Thankfully, He hasn't thought that just yet!

Now that I got that confessional out of the way...

Brooklyn is advancing by leaps and bounds these days. She has finally gotten rid of most of her cold. That was miserable for all of us, but especially her! We ended up buying a cool mist humidifier to help with her breathing at night but also to help with her eczema (which she has also gotten rid of mostly). The moist air helps with preventing her dry patches from getting any worse.

These are a few things she can do right now:

- sit unassisted for several minutes and play with her toys

- jump in her door jumper. She has finally discovered everything that jumper has to offer her and she really enjoys it! I will have to take a video of her in it and post it on here.

- She is eating lots of different baby foods - apples, peaches, pears, prunes, bananas, and sweet potatoes. We will be starting her on stage 2 foods after her 6 month appointment on Friday as long as we get the go ahead from her pediatrician.

- Following along with the previous point - she'll be 6 months old on Friday! I can't believe my baby is half a year old! It's unbelievable!

- She can roll over from front to back and from back to front (although not very consistently).

- She can entertain herself for several minutes without noticing she isn't being held by one of us.

- She laughs more frequently.

- She "baby talks" very well. Some syllables I've heard more frequently than other are "be, be, be" or "bu, bu, bu" or "mu, mu, mu" and I've even heard an un-intentional "mama" come out. I think it's so cute with she talks and I try to encourage it by talking back to her.

- She likes to "hug" me by putting both her hands on the sides of my face and bringing her face into mine and burying it. She thinks it's hilarious and will usually laugh.

- She takes her pacifier out of her mouth and can put it back in her mouth quite well now - although not always successfully.

- She stands a lot (while we hold her by her torso of course) and her little legs are getting stronger and stronger everyday.

- She grabs her feet a lot and had taken to putting her toes in her mouth and sucking on them. I find this hilarious!

I'm sure she's doing more but that's all I can think of right now. I know, such exciting stuff! lol.

This week is finals week at my school and we started them today. We have 2 or 3 finals per day and the rest of the periods are study halls. They're doing it differently this year and I like it. It makes finals week a little easier for both the students and the teachers. The teacher pageant I'm in was post-poned to tomorrow night due to us not having school last Thursday because of the cold weather. To be quite honest, none of us understood why they cancelled school because there was nothing on the ground. The temperatures were down in the teens and I guess there was some ice here and there but we went out that day and saw maybe one patch of ice. Not that I'm complaining about a day off...but, it did take away one of our 4 day weekends after spring break which we all look forward too. Anyway, back to the pageant. Tomorrow night I will be performing at our annual TAFE teacher pageant. Each teacher is sponsored by a club or class at the school to enter the pageant. I am being sponsored by the Spanish club. In honor of them I will be wearing my HUGE sombrero and a Spanish club t-shirt for my talent act. I've changed the words to the only Jewel song I know how to play - "Dreams" - to be about an apathetic student. I think it's pretty funny myself. Let's hope the judges like it. The acts are meant to be more silly and funny than serious. After the talent acts, the teachers come out for the formal portion where we are dressed in formal attire and are asked a "serious" question. Based on our answers and talent, the best 4 are brought back for another round of questions and then one of us is crowned the highness of Boswell. It should be interesting. I don't plan on winning but it would be nice for the perks. The winning teacher receives the "teacher of the month" privileges (which I'm not sure what exactly that is) and some nice gifts. I will gladly accept all of that if they choose to honor me as the highness. I will be glad when it is all over though...it's been looming over my head and I'm more nervous about the formal part than I am about the act. I'm used to singing in front of people but I don't feel comfortable at all being dressed up and trying to look good right now. I'm not happy at all with my physical state right now. Wish me luck!

Now, lest you think I'm going to just complain about my weight problem and do nothing about it, I will point out that next week is the official start of the boot camp at my school for the teachers. We have our first information meeting on Tuesday and then I think we start the working out on Wednesday. It will be head up by one of the English teachers who is former military and was one of the cheer sponsors with me last year. I asked her if she would be interested in leading this and she was very excited at the thought. I am too! I can't wait to start getting my butt kicked! We have a lot of interested teachers. I hope we get a good turn out! Wish me luck on that too!

I will post pictures on my next entry - I promise!

Reflections and expectations

2009. What a year. It was a big year for me. You know how some years go by and at the end you really can't think of anything major that happened and it kind of just fades into the background with several other years just like it? Well, 2009 was far from that kind of a year for me. It was by far the best year second only to 2008 when I got married. Why? Well, most of you probably have already guessed that it's because I had my beautiful baby girl Brooklyn Alivia. She arrived all big and chubby at 6:16pm, Wednesday, July 15th. I get so nostalgic thinking of the day she arrived and the following days in the hospital as we were still living off the high of having just given birth to our first baby. We are still thrilled to be parents but that high has worn off a bit. Now we have a subdued excitement that has been dulled just a bit by the lack of sleep and extra silliness we go through to keep our little girl smiling. Adults will stand on their heads to get a baby to laugh - and that's what we do, which expends a LOT of energy. :) I wouldn't change anything, nor would I take back any sleep I lost getting up to feed her and console her. She is worth every bit of extra work we do for her and it's not really "work" when you're totally head over heels for the little bundle you are taking care of.

That was one big thing that happened this year - and probably the biggest if I'm completely honest.

Several other exciting things happened though:

- we rang in the new years with a nice trip to Orlando, FL with the cheerleaders (who I was a sponsor for last year) for 5 days. We got to stay in the Animal Kingdom resort which is nicer than any place I have ever stayed. It was a blast. Waylon got to go with me and experience his first trip to Florida and anything Disney. He enjoyed it too. Brooklyn even got to go although she was just the size of a lime back then. My belly was just beginning to pooch and I had begun to feel the flutters of life I was carrying. I didn't get to ride very many rides but I still had a good time. Waylon and I did have one bad day where we argued for a bit and then didn't speak to each other for a while afterwards. That part wasn't fun!

- We also got to move into one of my dad's rent houses which was a huge upgrade from our apartment. We did some major remodeling in it since the previous renter trashed it but it looks great now! We love living here. We were able to begin painting and remodeling the week I got out of school for the summer and were moved in a little over a week later. I was able to spend my last few miserable weeks of pregnancy in a nice, comfy house where I didn't have to go up a flight of stairs every time I got home. It felt like heaven!

- 2009 was not only a big year for myself in being a new mom, but several of my friends became first time moms as well, including one of my cousins, and 3 other cousins had their 2nd or 3rd babies. It was a big year!

Renay (one of my best friends from Rodgers Baptist Church) had her first: Claire Jordyn

Karen (a good friend from Grand Prairie) had her first: Blakely

Robyn (Karen's sister) had her first: Adalyn

Stefanie McNeely (one of my best friends who lived in Brazil too) had her first boy: Caleb Ethan

Debra Waldo (a friend of my sister's from way back when we lived here and is now a friend of mine) had her second baby, a girl, the day before Brooklyn was born: Katelyn

Chris Meyer and his wife Bere (he's a missionary/friend from Texas City) had their first daughter: Gabrielle

Now for my cousins who had babies:

Grace had her third, a boy - Tyler

Lydia (Grace's sister) had her second, a boy - Cooper

Andrea, had her third, a boy - Lucas

Phoebe (Andrea's sister) had her first - Eva (a name I love and even considered but we have a cousin on Waylon's side who have a daughter names Ava and I felt that was too close...kind of like I love the name Adalyn but it was too close to my niece's name Madelyn)

Phew! That's a lot of babies!!! It was exciting for me having all these new mommas in my life because it got me more excited for having my baby and we all were able to share in our baby experiences and growth. I still have several friends who will be having babies in 2010 which I think is a pretty cool year to have a baby. My sister, Melissa, has been trying to conceive and we really are praying she can conceive this year and have her 3rd child. I would love for her to have a baby close to Brooklyn's age. More than anything though, I want her to be happy and have all the babies she wants to have.

Now we prepare ourselves for the upcoming year: 2010. We look forward to seeing all the ways God is going to bless us and our friends, family and church. Our church has plans to move locations. We have really done well in our current location but feel it is time to move to another area. We already have a place scoped out that we will hopefully be able to get.

Waylon will hopefully be finishing his degree at this time of year in 2010. He only has 6 classes left. After that, a huge weight will be lifted from us. I'm so proud of him for working so hard to finish the degree and work at the same time. I pray God prepares him for the career he wants Waylon to have and that Waylon can find a job shortly after graduating. I also pray that the economy is better by then and that jobs are more readily available.

Brooklyn will turn a year old in 2010 which is a big milestone. I can't believe I am almost in the year she will turn a year. She's growing so fast. Which reminds me, she has started to sit up on her own! We are so excited! She likes to sit on her blanket and play with her toys. I can tell she gets restless when she can't do anything. It's boring for her to just sit in our laps now unless we have toys and are moving constantly. Now that she can sit up, this will be a big help with keeping her entertained. She also keeps entertained for 10-15 minutes at a time in her exersaucer and jumper.

We have a Ross family reunion in June which we all look forward too. It will be fun seeing all the new 2009 babies play together.

Waylon and I are hoping to get to take a family vacation to Destin Florida with my parents. They go every summer and Waylon has never been to the beautiful beaches. I would love to go just spend time on the beach and watch Brooklyn play in the sand and water for the first time. For us to be able to do that, we will have to have the money saved up.

I will leave you with a picture of Brooklyn doing her newest trick!

Sittin' Pretty!

Happy New Year!!

Please be safe and responsible in your celebrations!