Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The "fever" has passed

I was warned by my sister, among many other people, that I would miss being pregnant after having Brooklyn, which I didn't believe. I was also told I would probably look back at the whole birthing experience with nostalgia and even get baby fever all over again and want another baby shortly after this one, which I also didn't believe. Well, I did feel all of those things. At about 1 month post partum I began having fantasies of getting pregnant again when Brooklyn was only 3 months old and just not going back on the pill and having all my kids back to back. I also missed my big belly even though I was completely MISERABLE at the end. (gasp!) These feelings stuck around for quite a while. Every month I would secretly be hopeful that I would be late and take a pregnancy only to discover I was pregnant again! I actually did have a real scare one month where I took a pregnancy test but it was negative. I was having these little bouts of nausea and it was really freaking me out. Now, to be really honest, I was very hopeful that I was pregnant but at the same time I was thinking "How the heck will we get by with two kids on one main income?" and "How would I even be able to go through another school year while being pregnant AND caring for an infant??" These were all cautions in the back of my mind that never allowed me to fully enjoy my fantasy of having back to back babies.

Today I'm here to say that the baby fever has passed and none of those things are one bit appealing to me at this point in time. I'm very grateful that I have not gotten pregnant up until now (please God, keep me on this roll!) despite missing a day here and there of my pill (not on purpose, I promise! I'm just really bad at remembering to take anything daily...including my pre natal vitamin while I was pregnant). Even though my mind knows that God is in control, sometimes my heart doesn't remember that and my emotions get the best of me. God knows we cannot handle another baby right now and I'm thankful he has taken this desire away for the time being. The thought of being pregnant right now while having a very active, clingy, needy, energetic, lovable 6 month old at home is just exhausting! Put on top of that TEACHING and the stresses of dealing with 130 snarky teenagers every day and that's a recipe for disaster! Yes, I'm thankful to not have this strong desire in my heart that my mind kept telling me was cause to be institutionalized!

Do I still want more kids? YES!! I still want 3 more kids - at this point. We'll see as Brooklyn gets older. Do I really think having another one right now would be something we should purposely attempt? Absolutely not! If I get pregnant while on the pill, I will know that it really is something God wanted for us and knows we can handle. Thankfully, He hasn't thought that just yet!

Now that I got that confessional out of the way...

Brooklyn is advancing by leaps and bounds these days. She has finally gotten rid of most of her cold. That was miserable for all of us, but especially her! We ended up buying a cool mist humidifier to help with her breathing at night but also to help with her eczema (which she has also gotten rid of mostly). The moist air helps with preventing her dry patches from getting any worse.
These are a few things she can do right now:
- sit unassisted for several minutes and play with her toys
- jump in her door jumper. She has finally discovered everything that jumper has to offer her and she really enjoys it! I will have to take a video of her in it and post it on here.
- She is eating lots of different baby foods - apples, peaches, pears, prunes, bananas, and sweet potatoes. We will be starting her on stage 2 foods after her 6 month appointment on Friday as long as we get the go ahead from her pediatrician.
- Following along with the previous point - she'll be 6 months old on Friday! I can't believe my baby is half a year old! It's unbelievable!
- She can roll over from front to back and from back to front (although not very consistently).
- She can entertain herself for several minutes without noticing she isn't being held by one of us.
- She laughs more frequently.
- She "baby talks" very well. Some syllables I've heard more frequently than other are "be, be, be" or "bu, bu, bu" or "mu, mu, mu" and I've even heard an un-intentional "mama" come out. I think it's so cute with she talks and I try to encourage it by talking back to her.
- She likes to "hug" me by putting both her hands on the sides of my face and bringing her face into mine and burying it. She thinks it's hilarious and will usually laugh.
- She takes her pacifier out of her mouth and can put it back in her mouth quite well now - although not always successfully.
- She stands a lot (while we hold her by her torso of course) and her little legs are getting stronger and stronger everyday.
- She grabs her feet a lot and had taken to putting her toes in her mouth and sucking on them. I find this hilarious!

I'm sure she's doing more but that's all I can think of right now. I know, such exciting stuff! lol.

This week is finals week at my school and we started them today. We have 2 or 3 finals per day and the rest of the periods are study halls. They're doing it differently this year and I like it. It makes finals week a little easier for both the students and the teachers. The teacher pageant I'm in was post-poned to tomorrow night due to us not having school last Thursday because of the cold weather. To be quite honest, none of us understood why they cancelled school because there was nothing on the ground. The temperatures were down in the teens and I guess there was some ice here and there but we went out that day and saw maybe one patch of ice. Not that I'm complaining about a day off...but, it did take away one of our 4 day weekends after spring break which we all look forward too. Anyway, back to the pageant. Tomorrow night I will be performing at our annual TAFE teacher pageant. Each teacher is sponsored by a club or class at the school to enter the pageant. I am being sponsored by the Spanish club. In honor of them I will be wearing my HUGE sombrero and a Spanish club t-shirt for my talent act. I've changed the words to the only Jewel song I know how to play - "Dreams" - to be about an apathetic student. I think it's pretty funny myself. Let's hope the judges like it. The acts are meant to be more silly and funny than serious. After the talent acts, the teachers come out for the formal portion where we are dressed in formal attire and are asked a "serious" question. Based on our answers and talent, the best 4 are brought back for another round of questions and then one of us is crowned the highness of Boswell. It should be interesting. I don't plan on winning but it would be nice for the perks. The winning teacher receives the "teacher of the month" privileges (which I'm not sure what exactly that is) and some nice gifts. I will gladly accept all of that if they choose to honor me as the highness. I will be glad when it is all over's been looming over my head and I'm more nervous about the formal part than I am about the act. I'm used to singing in front of people but I don't feel comfortable at all being dressed up and trying to look good right now. I'm not happy at all with my physical state right now. Wish me luck!

Now, lest you think I'm going to just complain about my weight problem and do nothing about it, I will point out that next week is the official start of the boot camp at my school for the teachers. We have our first information meeting on Tuesday and then I think we start the working out on Wednesday. It will be head up by one of the English teachers who is former military and was one of the cheer sponsors with me last year. I asked her if she would be interested in leading this and she was very excited at the thought. I am too! I can't wait to start getting my butt kicked! We have a lot of interested teachers. I hope we get a good turn out! Wish me luck on that too!

I will post pictures on my next entry - I promise!


Aileen said...

I'm glad the baby fever is gone. I want to enjoy Brooklyn as a baby for awhile still. And as you said, another baby right now would be very, very, stressful. The time will come when it will be time:)

Melissa@Simply Mel said...

YOu definitely don't need another baby right now! LOL I know your personality and you would definitely be uber stressed!!
I want to see a video of Brooklyn in her jumper! How cute!!!

She must be so cute right now with all the new things she's doing. YOu'll have to post some videos of it. Since I'm commenting on this older post I didn't notice the date so I don't know if you've had your pageant yet. If not, good luck!

Melissa@Simply Mel said...

ok, so I see that it has indeed passed. Did you win? I didn't seen anything about it on FB...