Wednesday, February 25, 2009

One of those days...

Today was one of them. One of those days that things just don't work out right and you end up getting super irritated and angry over something small and insignificant. What set me off today was my phone. For whatever reason, my phone decided to stop working for me this morning. It would make a phone call, but then the person on the other side couldn't hear me and after a couple of seconds being connected, it would drop my call. Me or the person I was attempting to call would try to call back and the same thing would happen over and over again. It was really starting to get on my nerves. I had all my little bars showing so the signal shouldn't have been the issue. To put me on the end of my nerves even more, this week is the 6th week of the first 6 weeks of the 2nd semester. Which means grades are due. I'm way behind on grades. I also discovered that I had a whole assignment missing for one class period and that assignment counted for 2 grades. That irritated me further. All day I was trying to grade in between checking student's work and teach and lead the activity for the day. It was really frustrating and stressfull. I decided that I would stay late after school and get more grading done. I settled in at my desk after the last of my students left for the day. My phone rang. It was Waylon. I tried to answer it. He, of course, couldn't hear me but I could hear him and after a couple of hello's, it dropped the call. He tried calling me right back which I knew wasn't going to work so I got up and went across the room to where my classroom phone is (it's inconveniently placed across the room from where all the plugs for computers are so my desk has to be on the opposite side of the room from my phone - which sucks.) and call him back. It went to his voicemail because he was trying to call my cell for the third time by now. I was really starting to get irritated because I could see this going on for several more times. I finally got through to his phone and was already frustrated when he answered so I snapped at him when it wasn't his fault my phone wasn't working but the situation was frustrating none the less. I quickly explained my phone issues and that I was just trying to get some grading done as quick as possible and then got off the phone with him. Five minutes later, after settling into my desk again and getting back into the groove of grading, my phone rang again. This time it was my sister calling from my mom's phone. I didn't even bother trying to answer or to call my mom's cell because she was calling me a second time and my call would just go straight to her voicemail. I called their house line instead which got me straight through. We spoke for a couple minutes then I got off the phone to get back to grading again. I was soooooooooooooooooo extremely frustrated and angry at the phone issue and how it had caused me to have to stop working to get up and go across the room. My plan was to go to the phone store and get a new phone tonight. When I was on my way home, I turned it off and then back on and it worked just fine...go figure. I should have done that sooner. By that time I was starving which is a condition that will put me in a bad mood fast even when I'm not pregnant but has an even stronger effect on me now that I'm "with child". My mood was quickly deteriorating and I called Waylon and told him we needed to meet for dinner ASAP or I was bound to destroy something or be completely, unneccesarily rude to someone. By the time I was done with dinner, I was feeling much better, but then again, Chipotle's always makes me feel better. sigh...

Now I'm about to leave to go to church. I'm feeling much better today than yesterday although still not completely well. I had a migraine that kept me up till 4 am Monday night, a cold that prevented me from breathing and my eyes hurt like crazy. I ended up leaving work after lunch and coming home to get some rest before the playoff game I had to go with the cheerleaders to last night in Decatur. It felt like the day that would never end. Now today feels that way...

One last thing. I got the test results in from the downs syndrome test my doctor did the last time I was in. Everything looked normal. I was relieved.

My next appointment is Tuesday. Hopefully I'll be able to post a confirmation that I am indeed still having a girl!


Monday, February 16, 2009

upgrades & downgrades

I have had some changes as of late in my pregnancy and life in general. Some have been upgrades (positive changes) and some have been downgrades (negative).

upgrade: today was the first Monday I have NOT had a horrible headache!
downgrade: in exchange for not having a headache, I ended up staying at work until almost 6pm because it's been the first day I've felt good enough to stay after school and try to get caught up on my grading. That was tiring!
upgrade: I have been feeling Brooklyn move a lot more! I haven't been able to distinguish between kicks and punches and her just rolling over yet. It feels more like she's just changing positions and moving from one side to the other, but either way, it's SO cool!
downgrade: meat has been sounding less and less appealing to me lately. I know I need my protein but I simply do not want to eat meat of any kind.
upgrade: I got a Boppy body pillow. It's amazing. I've been able to sleep through the night without taking the sleeping pills for the past 4 nights!
downgrade: that wonderful pillow cost $50. I'm sure I could have found it somewhere other than Target for cheaper, but I was desperate for something to help with the sleep so I just bought it.
upgrade: along with sleeping better, I've had fewer trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. In fact, last night, I didn't get up once! I went this morning when I got up for work for the first time all night!! (makes me think of little kids making it through the night without pottying in their pants! lol)
downgrade: even with me cutting some things out of my life temporarily, my life seems to be getting busier and busier and I have had less and less free time. Last week was the busiest week I've had in a very long time. There wasn't one night that I was able to just go home and sit and relax and go to bed when I should have. I was out doing things I had to get done and most nights out well past my bedtime (which has been 9-9:30 pm lately).
upgrade: I caught an AMAZING sale at JC Penny's yesterday where I found some super cheap maternity clothes. For example: maternity jeans - $4.97, cute maternity top - $1.97 . When all was said and done, I got 5 articles of clothing (all maternity clothes that I can wear to work) for $23, and that was including tax!
downgrade: my apartment is a complete disaster. It's embarassing, even for me. Right now there is an unidentified bad smell of which I cannot seem to locate the source. It's driving me crazy and it's nasty. I can't even believe I'm admiting it on here...

I think that all I will write about that for now. You get the picture though. I honestly do feel though that the more I try to cut out of my life so that I can simplify and keep my sanity, the busier I feel and the more things I find that I have to do and aren't an option anymore. One thing I am doing this week that I want to do and have been really waiting for a free saturday for is going over to visit Renay and her new little girl Claire. Renay had Claire at the very end of December and I was there at the hospital and got to visit with Renay afterwards and see Claire from the nursery window but I never go to see her up close and hold her. Now she's well over a month old and it looks like I'm finally going to get to go over there Saturday and see her! I'm really excited! This gets me so pumped up for having my baby girl. :)

I've also been struggling a bit with my job. As a teacher, you can't just go to work having a bad day and hide at your desk and just do your work and get through the day without really having to interact with people. I have to be "on" everyday, 6 periods a day. I'm finding that harder and harder to do. My energy level, especially emotional which is what drains me the most in this job, is dwindeling away to nothing right now. To make matters worse, there's a heavy dose of apathy going around amongst the students right now and it's really starting frustrate me. It was on my mind all weekend after having graded a particularly bad batch of quizzes. I vented with Waylon about how difficult this was for me and what I could do to get them to get out of the apathy pit. I prayed about it and asked God to give me back the energy and care and desire I started the year with so that I could go back in today and try to get them motivated and wanting to do better. I felt a lot better going into work this morning having done that and then I just made myself have a "talk" with every single class period about their grades and the lack of effort I was seeing. I tried not to be "nasty" about it or come across as "yelling" at them because I know that sometimes that just makes matters worse. I was very pointed and honest with them though. It felt good to get it off my chest and to see that they were listening (at least they seemed to be) and some were even nodding their heads and agreeing with me. I told them I was going to start doing some things differently to see if a different approach on my part would make a difference but that they would also have to change their approach as students and start putting in more effort and study time outside of class. I sure hope this talk helps. I can't do this too often, it drains me. I was glad when the day was over. I felt better and I know at least a handful of kids from each class walked out with a little more determination to do better. If just a few from each class start doing better, it will be a good step forward. Teaching is exhausting!!
sorry I went on so much about it....

As far as my personal life goes, I myself am feeling quite a bit of apathy in several areas. The first and most obvious area would be the upkeeping of my home. Our apartment (as aforementioned in my downgrades) is an absolute MESS. I'm not talking about a few things strewn about here and there. I'm talking masses of "stuff" that has no place just thrown everywhere. I still have a stack of clothes in my office from when I unpacked from one of my trips in January in there!! We have our old, non-working TV just sitting in the middle of the office, waiting to have something done with it. There are dirty dishes in the sink and our kitchen table is covered with mail and random stuff that needs to be put away. Our living room is completely disorganized. It's just depressing being here. I won't even get into the details of how messy my bedroom is. There are still piles of clothes laying around that I need to smell my way through to know whether or not they are clean or dirty! ugh!!! Another area I've had no motivation in is getting back into working out. I know that while you're pregnant you're not supposed to work out to lose weight or do anything too strenuous (not that THAT would ever be something I would have to worry about!) but, I do know that it would help me feel better if I did at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity 3 or 4 times a week. we have a workout center here at my apartment but I just don't go. I get home and think about it and then decide to take advantage of the little free time I have by resting and relaxing at home. I really need to step up and do some exercise. I may have to start with small goals like working out twice this week. Then next week bump it up to working out three times for 2 weeks in a row or something. Maybe if I give myself a reward for doing that I'll be more motivated. lol.

Next week I have my first dentist appointment with my new dentist. I haven't been to see a dentist in a while so I'm not looking forward to this. The longer you wait, the more painful a cleaning is. I think this appointment will be more to determine whether or not I have TMJ and if that's affecting my headaches any. The week after that I will already be going to my next OB visit! Time is flying by! At that point I'll already be 5 months pregnant!! I can't believe it! being here at this point seemed so far away to me when I first found out I was pregnant. I remember thinking how far away completing my 1st trimester seemed to me at 5 weeks when I first found out. Now I'm at 19 weeks already, almost halfway! I get more and more excited with each passing day.

I'm going to go ahead and stop here before I write an entire novel's worth in one blog entry. The whole time I've been sitting here typing this, Brooklyn has been tossing and turning and I've been enjoying feeling all the movement. She definitely gets more active when I'm sitting and being still. I think the computer was pushing into my stomach earlier and she was pushing against it in an effort to let me know she did not appreciate it. lol

My next blog probably won't be for a few more days since this one was so long. Hopefully I won't wait for more than a week though. :)


Friday, February 6, 2009

Ultra sound pictures of Brooklyn!

Yes, you read right, we have at least decided on a first name...middle name will come soon. For now, I'm happy to have a first name to call her by! :-)

Now, without further ado - here are some ultra sound pictures of her. The first one if of her face - she looks like a little skeleton in the face. The second one is obviously her profile and the third is her little foot! I was so excited about getting to see her looking like a real baby, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Her face it the top "circle"

Her profile...isn't it cute!! You can see her hand, it almost looks like she's sucking her thumb.

The bottom of her left foot! it's probably 1/2 of a centimeter long in reality.
So, there you go for all of you who were holding your breath to see pictures of Brooklyn. I'm so happy to have decided on a first name. It feels so much better to call her by a name instead of "it".
This is all I'm going to post for now because we have a room full of people. Adios!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The big announcement!

I apologize for the late announcement but we have been having troubles with our internet and of course it went out on Tuesday and just came back today. Anyways, the doctor's appointment went really well on Tuesday. The first thing they did was check for the heartbeat and found a very strong one. We also got to hear the baby kick the doppler a couple of times, that was very interesting. Next was the big ultrasound. I was really nervous. The first thing the ultra sound tech said was very disappointing. He said the baby was all balled up and had it's back to my belly so it might not be possible to see what the gender was. I was immediately deflated b/c I had built up so much excitement at finding out. Luckily for us, after seeing a lot of the spine, the baby rolled over and he was able to get a good look and tell us that he was almost positive it is a girl! The only reason he won't say 100% was because she was so balled up and in an awkward position. They are going to take another peak at my next appointment to verify that but he says he really feels positive that it's a girl he just doesn't want to say 100%. We got to see her little face and got a good profile picture (her body was folded in half and her feet were touching her head!) We even got a cute picture of her little foot! It's so cute!! I can already tell she's going to be beautiful! It was very exciting and both Waylon and I thrilled! Even though Waylon was hoping for a boy, he's still not disappointed or anything. He hopes we eventually WILL have a boy but we were both just ecstatic that she was healthy and moving around and all her parts were there. :) I think now I'll be able to relax more for future visits. This one was one that I had been stressing about for a while. It was the first visit in my 2nd trimester and I had taken those two weekend trips in a row that really wiped me out and I was afraid it might have hurt the baby. I was so happy to hear the heartbeat and hear such a strong one at that! I have several pictures but no scanner to upload them so I'm going to have to do that at my parents house tonight when I'm over there visiting with my sister and the kids when they get in from their long drive. I'm really excited about seeing her and being with her for the upcoming several weeks. It's going to be fun having my sister around to share in my pregnancy experience. This is the time where the major changes start happening and I start getting bigger and more noticeably pregnant. I'm really excited about that too! The next big thing will be to feel the baby move! I can't wait! I know towards the end babies move a lot and keep the mom's up from sleep but right now it will be well-welcomed.

I'm now officially the only cousin of the four cousins that are pregnant right now, having a girl! lol. Lydia just found out the day before me that she's having a boy, Grace (Lydia's sister) has known for a while now that she's having a boy, and today I got an email from my other cousin, Andrea in Colorado, that they are having a boy. My little girl is going to be outnumbered by boys this generation! It's ok though, she's going to be a tom boy so it will work out well for her. :)

Now I can finally go out and buy my first baby item. I have no idea what it will be but it's going to be cute, that's for sure. I'm excited about going shopping and starting to pick out nursery stuff and clothes and everything I'm going to need for her.

Amidst all the excitement of finding out what our baby is, I have been having headaches a lot. I told my doctor about it and she thinks it could be a few different things. One thing it could be is that my jaw has been popping when I eat and recently it popped really loud and the next day was really sore. I have had the popping for a while but it's never been sore the next day. That's one possibility. The other is just plain ole' hormones and the other is stress. Whatever it is, it's depriving me of good sleep which is what my doc was most concerned about so she gave me a prescription for some sleeping pills that are safe for during pregnancy. Now I'm not usually for this kind of thing and I've seen a lot of people get addicted to sleeping pills in my years in pharmacy, but with the headaches I've had and the little sleep I've gotten, I went straight to the pharmacy and got the prescription filled and have taken one for the past two nights. I have gotten great sleep and haven't had a headache (although I do feel one coming on right now because I'm slouched over my computer). My plan is to take it for a few more nights to get caught up and well-rested then go a few nights without it and see how I do. My doc also suggested that I go see a dentist and get my jaw checked out. I'm going to try to do that soon.

Well, I'm going to have to go because we need to go by the grocery store and get a few things before we head over to my parents and wait for them to get in. I also want to get those ultra sound pictures scanned into the computer so I can show off my little girl! :)

until next time!


p.s. I thought we had officially decided on a name for a girl, however, apparently we haven't. There's a new name in the mix (Layla with no middle name yet) and Waylon isn't wanting to completely decide yet so I will let you know when we're 100% sure on a name. Until then, I will just continue to call the baby "her" or "she". Trust me, I want a name picked out ASAP so I can start calling her by it...the husband doesn't understand why....sigh...

Monday, February 2, 2009

Tomorrow is the big day...

I will be finding out (hopefully) the gender of our baby and I'm so excited/anxious! I can't believe I'm going to get to find this out tomorrow. My cousin Lydia just found out today that she is having another boy. That makes 2 of the 4 cousins that are pregnant right now having boys. It would be neat if all four of us had boys. I, personally, will be happy with a boy or a girl but Waylon does really, really, really want a boy. For him, I hope it's a boy but for me I'm open to either. It will just be exciting to know. I also am excited to see the baby actually moving and looking like a baby and not a bean. That will be so exciting!

On another note, I chopped all my hair off this weekend. I finally decided to get rid of it all and I got a really good haircut. I love it and Waylon likes it as well. My students also made lots of comments about it. I got several "did you get your haircut?" questions. I wanted to say no, since it was so obvious that I DID get 6 inches or more!! sheesh. Anyways, I got a bad headache again at the same time of day and my shoulders and neck and head were killing me and I finally had to go to a massage therapist to get my back and neck worked on. I felt a lot better after I got it but it sure hurt a lot while I he was massaging me. I think I may need to go get that done on a weekly basis since it's only $12 for a 15 minute massage.

I do want to say that I'm sorry about not posting more often for those of you who are much better about posting than me. I've just been so busy and tired everyday that when I come home I don't want to sit in front of my computer long enough to type a blog. It makes my neck and shoulders hurt more for some reason right now. I will try to get better at it though!! Tomorrow I will definitely be posting a blog to let everyone know what the baby is.

My parents are up north getting my sister and her kids and bringing them down here for about six weeks. Kind of long story and you should definitely go check her blog out. I have a link to it on my site here on the right panel. I'm looking forward to getting to spend time with her and my nieces. Also, I think it's so cool that she'll get to be able to actually be around me while I'm pregnant, which I didn't think she would be able to.

Well, I'm going to stop here. I'm a little distracted with the movie Waylon is watching, Step Brothers. It's kind of gross but there are some funny parts. I also have to be ready to watch Heroes at 8 so I've got to get some stuff ready before tomorrow.

check here tomorrow for baby the late evening b/c I have basketball games to go to.