Monday, March 29, 2010

Gone are the days...

Lately I've been noticing a lot of aspects about my life that have changed 180 degrees and will be that way for quite some time. These things first changed when I got pregnant, then once I had Brooklyn and now they've changed even more drastically since she has become mobile. Tis the title. So here goes....

Gone are the days...

...when I just came home from work and did "my own thing"
...when I actually did what I planned to do each evening.
...when going to the bathroom was not a time I worried if Brooklyn was going to fall and hurt herself in that short time I was away from her (note - I do not leave her in places where it would be easy for that to happen, but I still worry that she might do something I never thought of and hurt herself)
...when I could put Brooklyn in her bouncer or lay her down and she would lay quietly for extended periods of time.
...when laundry for TWO people seemed like a lot.
...when sitting and watching a show didn't require 10 pausing episodes to either let Brooklyn get her yelling fit out or for me to run into the room and make sure she was still sleeping/not suffocating in a blanket/hasn't fallen off the bed...etc.
...when I wore a size 8 1/2 shoe (this was the pregnancy)
...there weren't countless toys strewn about the house.
...when I actually felt the desire to make myself look presentable before going out (not that it was that strong of a desire before, but it was still stronger than it is now!)
...when 10 minutes of complete silence wasn't a mini get-away in my head.
...when I didn't have a loud, screaming child to feel self-conscious about in restaurants.

Now my days are filled with making sure my daughter isn't getting into anything she's not supposed to be, which she usually is. Making sure she isn't falling and hurting herself. Making sure she has taken her bottle and has a clean diaper on (I forget diapers frequently, I don't know why). Looking at the clock to make sure we aren't WAY past her bedtime. Keeping up with who's laundry needs to be done the most and then making sure it gets done. (It never happens that way).

While my life isn't at all what it used to be, I love it nonetheless. I love the excitement and joy
Brooklyn brings to our lives and I can't imagine life without her. She changes every day and
learns something new or surprises us with some new little thing she has started to do or funny face she is starting to make. It's amazing how these little babies grow and learn SO FAST! I remember thinking how it seem like it would be such a long time from then that she would be doing these things like crawling and cutting teeth - but 8 months goes by fast! And here she is, crawling, 4 teeth, clapping, pulling up on everything and trying to walk...the list just goes on and on.

My first born is only 4 months from being a year old. I get panicky thinking about that sometimes. I will never get to hold her as a 3 month old. Everyday that passes I can never experience again and will never be like any other day to come. She will be changing every day and there's no stopping it. It's so sad to me! I don't want her to grow up anymore! She can just stay at 8 months for a few more months then she can move on to 9....if only it worked that way...


So there you have it. I'm sure all of you young moms and first-time moms like myself, are experiencing all the same things. There is nothing new under the sun. I know. It just feels so new to me.

C'est la vie...

On the bright side: I'm looking forward to having the warm weather back. This means more walks outside with Brook and no more jackets and cold weather. It also means the school year is near the end. It also means our family reunion is coming up. We have a Ross reunion in June and then a Woolbright reunion in August.

I've applied for a teaching position at Covenant Christian Academy. There are two positions I am interested in. One is teaching Spanish to pre-k through 3rd grade and the other is teaching music for the same age group. I hope to hear from them for an interview soon. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to teach at a private, Christian school! It would be my dream! Of course it would mean a HUGE pay cut, but Waylon is about to be done with day classes so he could get a full-time job to make up the difference in pay. Right now he only works part-time as a sub for my school district and Arlington school district. It brings in about $250 a month. I have no doubt that if it's the Lord's will that I get that job, that He will provide a job for Waylon paying what we need to make due. We just need to be making at least what I make right now at my school. We can live off that. So I would appreciate it if all you readers of mine would keep me in your prayers and pray that God will put in my heart what He wants for me and that whichever direction this goes, I will be at peace with it. Right now I REALLY want the job and would be very disappointed if I didn't at least get a call for an interview. But I keep telling myself that if this isn't the direction God wants for me, then I need to prepare my heart and mind for that and not put all my hopes and emotions into this right now when I haven't even been asked for an interview! It's so hard though!!

By the time I write my next post, I might have some sort of update on that situation. My hope is that I will. We shall see!

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