Typically you will see mother's day posts dedicated to the mother of the poster. At least that's what I'm used to seeing. Well, I will be partaking in something similar to that, so my Mother's Day post on my blog is going to be a bit different. I'm going to share my journal entry from my new journal about MY first mother's day and how it makes me feel. It may seem a little self-centered but that's not the point of it. I want to share this with my few readers because it means a lot to me. I think Mother's Day isn't just about celebrating your mom but celebrating the fact that you ARE a mom...that is, if you ARE a mom. If you aren't, well, you should just celebrate how wonderful your mom is. :)
So here goes...copied straight from my hand-written journal entry this morning:
Tomorrow I will celebrate my first mother's day sinc having Brooklyn. Last year I was 7 months pregnant for mother's day, and I still considered myself a mother, it's just more real now. I am actually living the life of a mother instead of planning for it and imagining it. Last year I was feeling her move inside me; this year I'm chasing her all over the house. Last year I still had moments of quietness with her, even when she was kicking and moving; this year there's no such thing as quietness if she is awake. Last year my arms were empty; this year they carry a beautiful baby girl. Last year I was wondering what my daughter would look like; this year I know and she is far more beautiful than I could have imagined. Last year my life was simpler but this year my life is filled with a love I had never known or understood.
Love can complicate things - you can't go on living life for just you when you love another person so much.
Motherhood hasn't been anything like what I imagined it would be. It has been more wonderful in some ways and much scarier and harder in others. I never imagined being able to function on such little sleep. I also never thought my heart would fill with so much love and pride as I watched my daughter grow and learn to do new things. Sometimes I just want to sit and watch her play for hours - it's such a beautiful thing to do.
I worry if I'm being a good enough mom. I worry about her future and everything that could go wrong. I have to give her to the Lord constantly or I will be useless with worry.
Life as a mom has been an adventure. There have been times when I questioned why I thought having a child was a good idea but it only takes one look at Brooklyn to remind myself that I would never take back anything. I love Brooklyn from the bottom of my heart and I look forward to being her mommy for the rest of my life.
Brooklyn, I'm so blessed to be YOUR mommy. God gave your daddy and I the most beautiful, perfect give he could ever give us. Mommy loves you SO much!! I am celebrating this Mother's Day by remembering the day of your birth: the day you made me a mommy.
To all the other moms out there: I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day tomorrow and get to see your moms and your children and celebrate the wonderful gift of being a mother and having a mother.
Happy Mother's Day!!